The Day Before

It is finally here; tomorrow is the big day. There are so many emotions that I am feeling today. I am excited for the benefits of having a good, working kidney.  I'm looking forward to having more energy and vigor. But with the excitement come nervousness as well. What if something goes wrong? What if my body just won't accept this new kidney? What if I die?

Then there is the heavy weight of responsibility that I feel with receiving such.a gift. So many have sacrificed something to get me to this point, especially my spouse, who is donating one of her kidneys so that I can receive a kidney, and the mystery donor who's kidney I will receive. Can I do what it will take to make sure this kidney lasts me for many,  many years? 

Yet there is also feelings of relief. I'm finally at the end of my dialysis journey for, hopefully, a long time. It has been frustrating to enter into my dialysis prison every night (I do Peritoneal Dialysis at home every night for 10 1/2 hours), while I can still hear my family having fun together; fun I'm missing out on. To be limited in where and how I travel, knowing I have to make it back at a decent hour or that I have to lug a ton of equipment and medical supplies with me. But now, as long as surgery is successful, no more dialysis, which means more freedom!

Finally, there is the love. When I posted a video on Facebook, updating everyone on my upcoming transplant surgery, I was overwhelmed by the responses of love and support from family, friends, and faith community. But then there was the surprise that awaited my spouse and I at the Hill Avenue Grace Lutheran Church annual Advent dinner. During the entertainment portion of the evening my spouse and I found ourselves in the center of a circle of congregation members holding hands. They invited Pr. Tom, a colleague of mine who is going to be helping to fill in for me while I recovering from surgery, to pray for my spouse and I. After the prayer each congregation member extended a hand out to bless us. This amazing rite of love ended with the congregation singing Silent Night. Tears filled up my eyes as I soaked it all in. This love and support is what gives me the strength to get to tomorrow.

My surgery is at 6:00 P.M. PST. tomorrow. I trust that God is with me every step of the way, and I feel God's love through the prayers and support of family, friends, and faith community. So, here goes nothing. I'll see you on the other side.

Pastor Zach

Comments

  1. Karen SDecember 14, 2022 at 4:08 PM

    Prayers continue for both you and Kristen during your surgeries and recovery.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tobe PoehlmannDecember 14, 2022 at 6:37 PM

    I've been thinking of both of you constantly today. I know you're in good hands!

    ReplyDelete

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